So my roommates and I are moving. 

*Warning: a digressive message is about to follow.

I’ve known my roommates basically my entire life. One, I’ve known since kindergarten, back when he was afraid to wear shorts and I asked him why his pants were so tight. The other, I met in 6th grade. He and I shared a common bond… jr. high band.

*Warning: a digressions from the original digression to the original story is about to follow.

As I said, we’re moving from our apartment and I’m thinking we should get a studio apartment with a triple bunk bed. I don’t know that they entirely agree, but the economy man. The economy …

Thought 1: Why were answering machines called answering machines? Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to call them listening machines? They never answered you when you spoke to them: “Hi answering machine. How are you doing? … Giving me the silent treatment, I see.”

Thought 2: A studdering rapper has to be amazing at producing remixes.